After a recent reminder of the sorry state of Toronto, I'd recalled a recent trip off the mainland, when I'd decided to take a bit of a break from the land of maple syrup. Freshly divorced, rather broke, and with the harsh winter closing in, I reckoned spending my last savings on a ticket out of the country was an excellent and well-thought-out financial decision.
Still, we're not here to discuss the brilliance of my savings planning, but rather, a funny story which had happened to me while abroad. On my second day, I'd opted to take a public bus in the small Caribbean nation I'd landed in the night prior - with forty hours of no-sleep, I'd finally gotten an alright night's sleep, and figured seeing the town was a great idea.
On the bus, I got to chatting with a fellow from Moscow, and we'd decided to spend the day on the promenade, so to speak; while the day was plenty-eventful, in the evening, my new friend was approached by a local chap, and informed that there's something he should see - it may have been girls, drugs, or all of the above - I cannot quite recall. Now, this man, clearly wanting to help my Muscovite pal have an excellent evening, and definitely not rob him, started leading my friend around a corner.
I was quite surprised, mind you - having spent some time in Moscow myself, I recall that it was not particularly safe (at least, it was not in the mid-2000s) - by my friend's readiness to follow the promise of women and drugs, in a country where one could rest assured, if they enjoyed the company of either, they could wake up missing their wallet or kidneys.
Feigning a quick phone call from non-existent friends in desperate need of taxi money, and stranded "on the other side of town" - I dragged my pal back to the main boulevard. My buddy unrobbed, and with myself back to the ever-important task of flirting with the locals, the night ended quite alright. Nonetheless, this story had reminded me that I really ought to mention a few tips and tricks for the dear readers which have not spent any time in areas ranking lower in public safety indexes.
When in unsafe areas, particularly, unsafe and tourist-filled areas, keep in mind that you are a wallet with legs. The more out-of-place you seem, the bigger a target that paints on your back. Now, there is something to be said about appearing like a tourist in areas where you'd fare worse if you looked like a local - after all, even petty criminals understand that hurting a tourist could mean bigger problems. Regardless - you are a mark.
Expect to be led around, only to then have your new "friend" demand that you pay for the paid tour you didn't know you were receiving. Your taxi driver may take a regular route, or, he may offer the 'scenic' one. Or, his meter may be broken, and your bill will be thrice the price. If you're giving your laptop to the repair place, there's a solid chance your DDR5 RAM is now DDR4 RAM, and your capacity is now halved - the originals having been sold the minute you'd left.
The allure of beautiful women "right around the corner", and chaps in polyester button-ups promising to show you a place where you'll have a "good time, bro" is too much for many. When you're in a foreign land, and some local fellow is saying you're one of the crowd now - or, a very attractive lady invites you to her place, there's such a thing as "too good to be true."
I find this to lead to particularly unfortunate outcomes for English-speaking tourists in South America, Eastern Europe, and the Caribbean, that are unfamiliar with the cultural differences between the West, the East, and the South.
Don't get me wrong - I've had many cases where I'd befriend a local fellow, and get invited to a party within half an hour of meeting them. I've had absolutely excellent days with characters that may appear, to some, as less-than-savoury. Still - if it seems to be too good to be true, keep your eyes peeled.
Oh, and, please - if there's a group of gentlemen built like linebackers peeking out from behind a corner, and a man that looks like he sells more than just used cars tries to lead you behind said corner, with the words - "oh man, beautiful girls here bro", perhaps consider a fake phone call to a buddy that really needs you to come see him, as-soon-as-possible.
Don't try the stuff. It might be great - it might be the best stuff you've ever had. It might also mean you'll wake up, tomorrow, with a suspiciously kidney-proximal scar on your back, and potentially an unpleasant feeling in your behind.
There's nothing wrong with the occasional alcoholic drink, or, even something a bit spicier, if that's your forte. But, there are certain things to keep in mind, whenever indulging in any mind-altering substance; if your host is drinking from the same bottle as you - you're probably safe. If your host gives yuou an uncapped bottle, and drinks from a different bottle - perhaps it's best to mention you've got a weak liver.
Now, there is a cultural element here. To refuse a drink from a host can be incredibly rude in many parts of the world; I understand that. At a family gathering or a wedding, you're absolutely expected to consume, at the very least, a single drink.
However, when a pretty girl, or your new best friend, pushes a tray of mysterious powder under your nose - or, you've got an unattended drink on a bar counter, there is little cultural expectation to consume said substance. The most you'd ever be asked to do is to share a mild leaf stimulant (think coca or betel leaf) - consider it a double-shot of espresso.
My friends, I'm not saying this to discourage you from visiting a country - I'm warning you ahead of time, so you can feel safe no matter what country you're in. I've met excellent people in terrible countries - countries on the brink of war, deep in poverty, or on the edge of mass-unrest; impoverished areas, ghettos, and the like. In fact, much of what I'm writing right now is just the repetition of what those people had told me.
Don't think this is exclusive to countries with names one has a hard time pronouncing properly; all of this is absolutely applicable in the West. In fact, I would argue that watching for your drink getting spiked is as big an issue in some urban centers as it is in Medellin. Sure, you're not going to get puffed in the face with a date-rape drug in New York (though, it's possible) - but, when you and your new buddies are on your tenth shot and fifth beer - and you "don't like the look of that guy over there" - you could very well end the night in the emergency room; or, facing an assault charge. Or, mugged in an alley - perhaps even more likely in North America than many other places around the globe.
Keep your eyes peeled, your wallets closer, and may your rears never be unguarded, my friends.